


Surprise, Asshole!

by Impmon



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Birthday Party, Gen, Surprise Party, alcohol mention, i did not proof read it, i wrote this at two in the morning, im not sorry #noregrets, kidnapping threat (v v brief), little sleep, max loves david but SHH, my tumblr is campcampscenarios, no pressure tho, no sleep, please review! i love that shit, spoilers in tags, this was a prompted fic by a user on tumblr!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impmon/pseuds/Impmon
Summary: Max has been sneaking out at midnight. Prowling the streets, meeting with sketchy individuals... but why? What could possibly be so important? What could be motivating him to not only escape camp at odd hours, but to then return?





	Surprise, Asshole!

TW: Food, insomnia, birthdays, homelessness (brief), weed mention, bar setting (brief), kidnapping (mentioned/threatened)

This was actually so much fun?? I did *not* proofread though, so… keep that in mind lmao

______________________________________________

Eyes narrowed, Max watched the truck pull over to the side of the road. He was half a mile down the road from camp, at midnight. Gwen would arrive in twenty minutes exactly to meet the man in the truck. Everyone knew that midnight was the only time to get anything done at Camp Campbell. The only dead hour. Max grit his teeth as the man thrummed on the steering wheel, growing impatient. He was earlier than planned.

Max stepped out of the bushes and into the headlights of the big truck. The man inside startled slightly, before making solemn eye contact with Max. They exchanged a single nod, and the man unlocked his doors. Max wasted no time climbing onto the passenger seat. Wordlessly, the man handed Max a clipboard for him to read.

Max quickly skimmed the content on the first page. All seemed in order. He flipped up to the second page and stopped. “Is this some kind of fucking joke?” He demanded.

“I,” The man furrowed his brow and held up a hand in surrender. The other stayed firmly planted on the wheel. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”

Max stood up on the seat and glowered over the man. He jutted the clipboard in his face. “Hibiscus?? Fucking hibiscus?? Who the fuck do you think we are!?” He threw the clipboard down, and poked a finger into the man’s face. “What kind of bullshit clown show are you running here!?” He demanded.

“That’s- That’s what you ordered!” The man sputtered, both hands raised to shield his face.

“Come back with lokelani or don’t come back at all!” Max ordered. “You have fifteen minutes before the boss shows up, and you don’t want to keep her waiting!”

“Fifteen minutes!? It’s a forty minute drive!” The man protested.

Max grabbed the collar of the man’s shirt and dragged him close to his face. “Drive. Fast.”

Max stormed out of the vehicle, and disappeared back into the bushes, just as the man made a U-turn and sped away.

“Fucking dumbass.” Max muttered to himself as he stomped back to camp. “He better not fuck this up.”

The next night, Max ordered an Uber with David’s phone, and got a lift to town just after midnight. He paid the driver with some of the funds he had embezzled from Neil’s cryptocurrency business. The town appeared dead to the naked eye, but he knew better, and he had errands to run. First stop he made was around back of a small corner store. The owner was smoking a joint, and she eyed Max warily as he approached.

“Whaddaya want, Shrimp?” She asked, gesturing at him with her smoke. “I don’t deal to kids.”

“I’m not here for drugs.” Max said. He handed her a list. “I’ll be back in forty minutes. Have all of this waiting for me in a bag, and I’ll pay you full price, plus half.”

She looked over the list. “Kid, these are just ingredients. What do you want these for?”

“Do we have a fucking deal or not?” He demanded.

The storekeeper shrugged. “Deal, I guess.”

They shook hands briefly, and Max left.

Next place to hit up was the bar. It was, unsurprisingly, still open. Max let himself in, and he strolled up to the counter. Unlike when they had visited during the day, the bar was packed with people. Max shuddered as someone’s hand brushed against him as he hopped up.

The bartender gave Max a narrow gaze. “You again? Get out, kid.”

“Wait.” Max said, pulling out a small wad of cash. “This is the only place in town that sells grenadine syrup and cherries. Give me all of it.”

The bartender laughed. “That’s not gonna cut it, kid. I order in bulk.”

Max cursed. “Then just give me as much as this is worth.” He handed the bartender the bill.

The bartender went into the kitchen, and returned a moment later with a milk crate. Inside were three bottles of syrup, two large jars of cherries, and two bottles of lemon-lime soda.”

Max furrowed his eyebrows, accepting the weight of the crate. “I didn’t pay for soda?”

The bartender winked. “It’s on the house.”

Max felt heat creep along his neck. He glared, and quickly left the bar. He didn’t like people who knew more than they were supposed to.

He huffed as he struggled down the dark street with the crate. It was half his size, and half his weight. Suddenly, large hands descended down, and took the crate from Max’s hands.

“Fuck off!” Max snapped, whirling around to face the stranger. In front of him, was a tall, muscular woman with ‘Blue Balls’ written on her muscle shirt. Recognition dawned on her face.

“Oh, shit! You’re that kid from the summer camp!” She grinned. Her yellow eyes reflected a nearby streetlight in a way that made her look feline.

Max grumbled incomprehensibly, crossing his arms and looking away. “The fuck do you want?”

“Looked like you were having a hard time.” Bonquisha shrugged. She glanced down into the crate. A smirk creeped across her face. “Shirley temple stuff, huh?”

“Carry it for me, or don’t. I don’t give a damn,” Max turned away and started walking, “but don’t expect conversation.”

Bonquisha made a noise of approval, and was following Max after a moment. She didn’t intervene when he marched boldly into a poorly lit, dirty alley. At the end of the alley was an old man in an ancient tuxedo with a large sack over his shoulder. He was staring off into space, leaning against the grimy wall, but grinned toothlessly as Max and Bonquisha approached.

“Ya brought muscle.” He commented, mispronouncing ‘muscle’ the way you might if you had no teeth. “Smart kid. I’s just thinkin’ you were ‘bout the right size for this here sack.” He held up the aforementioned sack, and Max noted absently that he was, indeed, the right size for it.

Unwavered, he pressed. “Did you get it or not.”

“I got’s it.” The man insisted. “Do you got the cash?”

“I have it.” Max told him. “Hand the bag over and it’s yours.”

The man was eager to give Max the bag. Max noted that, too, and gave the man a suspicious look. His eyes swept his over him. Old suit, no dentures, frail, tired eyes. Max sighed and dug the wad of cash he had set aside for the man, and then fished out the slightly larger one he had left over. After a moment’s hesitation, he handed the man the larger one.

The man snatched it and fanned through it. “Eh? What’s this? This is more than we ‘greed on.”

Max shrugged, picking up the bag and tossing it over his shoulder. The bottom touched the ground. “Buy yourself something to eat. You’re not made for street deals.”

The man smiled widely at Max. Max turned quickly and left before he could see the tears that were gathering in the man’s eyes fall.

“That was sweet.” Bonquisha complimented. Max ignored her. He felt her take the bag from him and heard her toss it over her shoulder. “What did you want old guitar pieces for, anyway?”

“None of your fucking business.” Max spat.

Max paused for a moment, and checked the time on David’s phone. It was already time to pick the ingredients up, and Max had to be back in his tent before 1:15 AM, when David would make his rounds. He would still have to wait for another uber.

“Do you have a car?” Max asked.

“Sure do. Need a lift?” She asked.

“Why are you so eager to help?” Max asked, glancing up at her.

“I know what day is coming up.” She told him, amusement in her eyes. “You’re a good kid, Max.”

Max quickly looked at the ground as his face flared up. He thanked the night for being dark. “Yeah, whatever. Get your truck. I have to go pick up some stuff.”

They met back up shortly after, loaded the stuff into the truck, and had a quiet, mostly not-awkward, trip back. Max thanked her halfheartedly for her help, and quickly smuggled the stuff into his tent. He managed to get in bed by 1:13. Not bad.

He skipped out on camp activities the next two days. It wasn’t easy, but Max could feign a light fever when he had to. Not severe enough to warrant ‘round the clock care, but enough that David wanted him out of the sun. That gave Max two whole days, and one night, to build, sand, paint, and polish. He worked quickly, but he knew what he was doing and it seemed to go well.

The night of the second ‘sick’ day, Max stole out of his tent. David had gone to bed an hour early, probably wanting to wake up extra early the following day. That gave Max an extra hour to work with. Again, he worked fast.

He was quick to drag his bag of ingredients out of his tent and into the mess hall. He left it on a table, and returned for his milk crate. When he opened the door, his heart leapt into his throat. Gwen was awake.

 

Max cursed himself silently. Of course she was awake. She was doing rounds today.

Max stayed very still as he watched her empty his bag out onto the kitchen counter. She picked up a bag of flour and skimmed the ingredients. Max wanted to roll his eyes. He wasn’t stupid, obviously it was oat flour, he knew David was allergic to wheat. He didn’t roll his eyes, though. He stood stock still, hoping Gwen wouldn’t notice.

p>She did, of course.

She glanced up suddenly, and jumped visibly. “Jesus FUCKING christ, Max.”

“What are you doing?” He asked, entering the room all the way.

“What are you doing?” She returned the question. It was plainly obvious what Max was doing, he could tell from the smirk playing on her lips.

“Are you going to help me, or just fucking stand there?” He glared, setting the crate on the table.

Gwen was quiet as she looked in the crate, and at the ingredients. “Jesus, how long did this take?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He answered. “Go preheat the oven.”

The next morning, David woke up as the sun peeked over the horizon. Max knew he did. He always did.

The campers were already awake. They had been for hours, blowing up balloons, tying streamers, and arranging the array of cakes, cupcakes, and pies that had appeared overnight. None of the campers were asking, though. They were too busy learning how to mix shirley temples at the beverage table, trying to play nice with the flowerscouts and woodscouts, and arrange the huge order of pink lokelani flowers around the camp.

“By the way, Max,” Gwen said from where she stood with him away from the chaos. “How did we end up with lokelani?”

Max shrugged. “Beats me.”

“They’re prettier, anyway. It was a good idea.”

Max said nothing.

Just then, the door swung open, and David stood awestruck.

“SURPRISE!!” The campers yelled, more or less in unison.

“Oh my goodness!” David squealed. “You guys did all this for me!?”

“It gets better.” Gwen told him, walking over to where he stood. “The campers somehow got you a gift.” There were confused mutters from the crowd, but Gwen ignored them. “This showed up in front of the cabin this morning. Happy Birthday, David.”

She handed David a long, rectangular box. David accepted in gingerly, and took a careful seat on the steps. He unwrapped it far too slowly for Max’s tastes, but he got it done. He gasped when he saw it was a guitar case.

“You guys didn’t have to-” David started.

“Open it, dumbass.” Gwen urged him.

David nodded softly, and unlatched the lid. David carefully picked up the instrument inside. It was made of red wood, with a custom attached neck from a black guitar. The face of the guitar had ‘David’ painted in black, careful cursive letters. The rest of the face was painted with gentle swirls that made the shape of a bird. A minimalist painting of the eagle scout bird painted in brown and blue.

David wiped his eyes. He gave them a wobbly smile. “Thank you, guys, so much. I love you.”

The party went smoothly. David liked the foods, and drinks, and flowers. Or, at least, he said he did. He looked like he had fun, and he seemed to like watching all the camps interact pleasantly with one another.

After the party ended, and David and Gwen were helping the campers tidy up, David approached where Max was sitting on a stone, sipping a drink.

“Max?” David said quietly. He waited until Max looked up at him to continue. “Thank you.”

“What for?” He raised a bored eyebrow, and took a sip.

“For the guitar.”

Max sucked in a breath, and choked. “I didn’t have anything to do with that!”

David chuckled softly and crouched beside him. “I saw where you signed it, Max. I didn’t at first, but when I really looked at it, I saw it in one of the border swirls.”

Max was well aware of the slow reddening of his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

David laughed lightly, and ruffled Max’s hair. He got to his feet. “Sure thing, kiddo.” He winked and walked away.

Max pouted angrily and fixed his hair. He found his heart beating a little harder than before, however, and there was a light feeling inside of him. He recognized it as… pride?

He scoffed, and tossed his empty cup in the grass. Yeah fucking right. He glanced up at David’s receding back, and felt a soft smile grow on his face.

Okay. Maybe he was proud of himself. Big deal. This was a one time thing. That’s it, that’s all. His eyes travelled over to Nikki.

Wait… wasn't her birthday soon?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed this! I know we're all kind of starved for content rn, so I tried to keep this close to canon characterization! ('cept i skimpped with Bonquisha a bittt lol). Anyways, if you liked it, feel encouraged to let me know in the comments! You have no idea how good it feels, and it's such a huge motivator for me!! No hard feelings whatsoever if you don't feel up to it!
> 
> Anyways! I love you all soooo much! Bye!


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